What up to all my killers and my hundred dollar billers, this is Emcee X checking back in with the mob squad.
So yeah, I know Swiss and I have been slackin on the blog department, but squad you have to understand that here in mob HQ, we gots shit to do and sometime haven't got the time to update as much as we would like.
But don't worry, we're going to kick it back in to gear again. We just had to call a couple of plumber's to fix some leaks, if you catch my drift.
So anyways, I'm bringing you the winner here of the Aristocrat Region, just to fast forward through some match-ups.
The winner is.... #14 seed, Dr. Robotnik
Now i know this might be a surprise to everyone out there but take a look at his credentials, they clearly stack up. First of all do you know any other evil mastermind quite like Robotnik? Didn't think so, i mean whenever you heard his song you would be stricken with terror. Obama would definitely be struck with fright as he would lose in the first round, defeat a wounded Wu Tang clan in the second. Abraham Lincoln wouldn't stand a chance, i mean the Kansas-Nebraska act and the Missouri Compromise wouldn't stand a chance against Metal Sonic!
I mean please, Metal Sonic, sorry Lincoln, you fought hard but, you can't stand up to that. And finally in the Elite 8, Robotnik would take out #1 seed Umbrella Corporation. He would just enslave all the zombies and make them into his henchmen just like he did to all the poor woodland creatuers.
Robotnik, takes the Aristocrat Region as a huge underdog and heads into the Final Four. Who will he meet, stay tuned mob squad to find out.
What's up Mob Squad, Emcee X here bringing ya one of the most anticipated first round match ups of the tournament. Today we get to witness an epic battle in scope and size as the Uruk-hai smashing Gandalf takes on the RZA, the GZA, the Ghostface Killah and the entire Wu-Tang Clan!
Lets begin with Gandalf, who began his mogul journey as Gandalf the Grey. When he went to the shire to visit his homie Bilbo, while toking some herb from a fat pipe which mob squad is always a sign of a true hustler, he discovered that bitch Bilbo was hiding some awesome bling. He straight up coped that shit from Bilbo and went on to form a fucking fellowship of his ring. Back then a fellowship was like in today's terms if you formed a massive corporation, that shit just didn't happen everyday yo! This fellowship went on and just hustled the shit out of middle earth. The list of casualties include; Gríma Wormtongue, Sauron, the punk ass Saruman and one of the all time classic noguls the Steward of Gondor Denethor.
Gandalf not only was a playa in his first life on middle earth when he died, he came back as an even stronger pimp in the form of Gandalf the White. Most pimps and playas can only sustain that level of hustlin over one lifetime but Gandalf was able to continue his hustling, even by hustlin death and come back... at the turn of the tide to smack some bitches up!
However Gandalf is dealing with a most formidable foe in the entire Wu Tang Clan. Which includes the RZA, which is short for the Razor, The GZA aka the Genius, the Ol'Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the chef, Mr. Meth the Method Man, the Ghostface Killah, U-God and the Masta Killa. The members of the Wu Tang Clan all have massive street cred and are one of the all time greatest hip hop groups to ever grace a stage. They have their hands in everything from clothing lines, movies video games. These 9 men are some of the dopest entrepreneurs ever.
The Wu Tang Clan is all about taking heads off and swinging swords like shinobi. They are legit gangstas and will fuck you up. They came up with one of the all time greatest acronyms in CREAM (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) which should be a standard all Moguls should follow their lives by.
So how should this fight be decided on... well if it was up to Meth, and I'm sure Gandalf would not mind, they would probably engage all the participants in this match up in a pre-fight smoke sesh. Like Method says, "roll that shit, light that shit and smoke it". So after everyone is in the proper mind set for the match-up, the only way to decide this fight is of course by bringing in a Balrog in and see who survives.
First of all the Balrog is a great enemy to encounter and this time Gandalf won't have the halls of Moria to save his ass. The Balrog would most likely take out U-God, Masta Killa first seeing as they are the weak links to the clan. Of course ODB would most likely be too high to fight and would walk into a whip attack. Gandalf and RZA, the abbot would be holding their ground. While GZA, Meth, Ghostface and Deck would be attacking from behind. Raekwon would be cooking up some coke since he's the chef but since he was not paying attention he would get axed next.
This epic fight could go on until, Gandalf finally would slay the Balrog after two days and nights and when the fight was over and Gandalf was about to claim victory, Deck would shank him. The remaining members of the clan would then proceed to dump his body in the subterranean lake at the bottom of the great halls of Moria.
The Wu just hustled Gandalf into destroying the Balrog for them and then in appropriate mob style, thanked him appropriately.
Remember, Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin to Fuck wit! Wu Tang Clan ain't nuthin to Fuck wit!
What up mob squad, Emcee X checking in, bringing you the first of the many match-ups for Mogul Madness 09. First up, from the Aristocrat region we couldn't have asked for more of an epic clash of titans as we have the number 7 seeded gangsta kingpin, Suge Knight vs the ultimate union baller Abraham Lincoln.
Suge is one of the finest entrepreneurs of the music business, as he brought together some of the illest rappers of the early 90's with Death Row records. However, Lincoln is a god damn American Institution son. This man was responsible for putting the U.S. in check during the Civil War. So let's take a look at some of their credentials to see who gets to move in.
In a straight up baller move, Suge was responsible for a dope ass punk job on classic Nogul, Vanilla Ice. That is just classic thuggery at its best. Mad props go out to Suge for the mad hustle he pulled on Ice. What's also great about that punk job is that allegedly Suge mad his first fortune in music be making Ice pay him in royalties for "Ice Ice Baby".
However, what about Lincoln. Mob Squad you know Lincoln has his fair share of hustlin n bustlin under his sleeves. First off, this is one of the pillars of Moguldom, and that is if you can get yo face on some money than all the playa's know you mean business. Although the penny is probably the bitch of the coins to be on, the 5 dollar bill is nothing to mess with. It's no Benjamin, but it's something handled everyday in all sorts of nefarious acts. Of course there's the Emancipation Proclamation which freed slaves in non union controlled states. I mean, that's straight up Hustling son. The union didn't even control these states and yet they were passing laws on them. Basically Lincoln put Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee on blast and let them know who the fucking boss was.
Come on now, I don't even think Lincoln has to bust out most of his other mogul moves to break Knight's ankles. He'll save those for later, as Lincoln easily defeats Suge and moves on to the round of 32.
