Let's start off with Ash's hustler credentials, firstly and foremost Ash is a straight pimp. He pimps out all kinds of Pokemon. His bitches include but are not limited to, Squirtle, Bulbasaur, and of course his favorite money making tramp, Pikachu.
Ash pimps out these ho's and battles with other pimps in a stadium, yeah like a fuckin gladiator! Ash puts only the finest ho's out for competition in Pokemon Stadium against other pimps, like those of Team Rocket, in hopes of acquiring more ho's. Y'all know the slogan of a pimp like Ash, "Gotta catch 'em all!"And then set those ho's straight, let em know whose boss. You think Bulbasaur or Muk would ever have the balls to tell Ash not to keep them pent up in that little ass ball?
Hell no!! Ash keeps his ho's working for him!
But for all his hustlin and baller antics, Ash faces a most deserved number 1 seed in the tournament, FDR.
The 32nd President of the United States is basically a prototype of anyone wanting to become a Mogul. FDR has spent his whole life as being nothing but a straight pimp. He's fifth cousins with Theodore Roosevelt, also a mack, and is the only person to be elected to four terms in office as commander and chief of the United States. How sweet is that, pretty much an unwritten law amongst Presidents, that you were only allowed two non-consecutive terms. What did FDR do?
Just straight up was like, "I don't give a Fuck!" and ran for a third term because he felt like it. If that's not mogul, than I don't know what is.
However is that enough to stack up with Ash's pimping skills??
Well don't for a second think that FDR wasn't a true pimp in every facet of the word. He pimped out Churchill constantly. He used that silly bitch as his puppet. Let's not forget Stalin, that's right ladies and gentlemen FDR had Stalin by his balls, forced him to support the UN and agree to enter the war against Japan after 90 days after Germany was defeated. FDR didn't give this whore any second of rest as he ordered him to get back out there and make him some damn money!
And speaking of Japan, let us not forget the proverbial bitch slap heard round the world when Emperor Showa was forced to bring shame upon his nation as he had no other option when he surrendered to the Allied Forces. Showa directly ignored an order from his pimp to surrender and got the shit kicked out of his country for it.
Basically don't fuck with FDR.
So Ash can throw down any combination of Squritle, Pikachu and Bulbasaur he wants, if this had to be decided in Pokemon Stadium, FDR would thrown down Churchill and Stalin and still easily take this match-up.
Ash is a pimp in training, however FDR is an all around Mack. And easily moves on into the round of 32. For all you mogul madness followers, hopefully FDR will draw a better match in the next round and give us all a better match-up.
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