Baller Region

Swiss here to drop some knowledge on you with the opening salvo of the Baller Region in Mogul Madness 09.

(8) Tyler Durden vs. (9) Angelina Jolie

We're starting today with the 8 and 9 seeds, Tyler Durden and Angelina Jolie respectively. That's Durden from Fight Club, not Brad Pitt or the PUA, mind you.

Durden is a baller, through and through. He not only created Fight Club, heightened it into Project Mayhem, but he hustled the Narrator out of his own damn life! He looks like you want to look, he acts like you want to act, and he fucks like you want to fuck. Throw in the fact that he macks on Marla and makes it rain with soap all over town and he's a legit mogul.

But who does he face?

Angelina Jolie is a lady mack of epic status. Her dad is John Voight, but she's still smoking hot. That is quite incredible, and she's parlayed it into major movie star status. But her most epic hustle of all has to be stealing Brad Pitt from America's Sweetheart, Jennifer Aniston. Every woman in America feels insecure compared to Jolie, and every woman loves Jennifer Aniston. And all these playa haters had to stand by and watch as Jolie mercilessly stole him away.

Furthermore, she actually hustled Brad Pitt because his goal was to be a father. You want kids, Pitt? How about 10 of the little bastards? A cool baker's dozen? Jolie has his ass globetrotting around the world through warzones and refugee camps to name another snot nosed brat "Aiden."

Ultimately though, these hustles pale in comparison to Durden. Aniston is nothing more than a young Barbara Streisand, so stealing away Pitt isn't the most impressive feat. Durden created a counterculture and made anarcho-primitivism seem like a good idea.

That's a mogul, son.